Welcoming 2009

Happy New Year~~~

Last year during this hour, if not mistaken, I guess I was sleeping by the toilet bowl vomiting after drinking too much.. Haha.. That was back in Penang when I was in a state of confusion.

Now, everything is clear and I’m happier than ever. But this year’s new year count down in a state of total consciousness brings a lot of feelings..

In exactly 6 months from now, I’m gonna turn 22. And I just plucked a strand of really white silver hair from my head full of black hair. I’M OLD. But looking back at last year’s new year resolution made me realize how far I am from my goals. I mean, I was turning 21 then. But now I’m turning 22. I just got to be more serious in everything that I decided to do.

Study, study seriously. Play, play seriously. LOL although I don’t remember when was the time I DID NOT play SERIOUSLY.

I’m not sure why I’m talking about all this, but I guess it’s a sense of emergency. It’s like a wake up call from someone up there telling me, “hey, enough girl, you gotta start working hard for what you want.”

Well I know it’s never too late to start working hard, but definitely some damage has been done. Eg: not very good results. Although it’s only coming out on the 3rd but well, those who didn’t work hard enough can’t expect too good result la kan?

Last night after talking to Bee made me realize that, I'm indeed a very lucky person. I always get what I wanted, always get help that I needed during the last minute of an emergency, always get the best of everything.. And that actually made me kinda taking my so called "luck" for granted.

Like, I would say, things always come easy for me that I didn't really treasure the things around me. Like, I will feel that I've done so much for others and they in turn should do the same thing back so it'll be fair.

Those who know me will know that I'm one of those who hold on to my principle very tightly. There's only right OR wrong. Left or right. Can or cannot.

But someone made me realize there's a whole patch of grey area between the black and white. Like, smoking is a bad things but socializing and smoking is something like a "standard" thing to "get closer" to certain group of people or something like that.

I still don't understand that particular point about smoking though, and i'm still very much against it. Just that, my point is, he taught me to actually be FLEXIBLE. That's like a super new thing to me because I'm super NOT flexible. -.- Serious.

The guys that I've met in HELP, particularly Marcus and Daniel has shown me what is "flexible" and what is "stubborness", seriously. haha..

Ok again, I don't know why am I crapping about all these here when everyone's suppose to be either drunk, sleeping or still playing some games. I'm alone in my room after a celebration at a friend's place and for the first time, I want to make this one difference---

..all the time whenever there's any celebration, fun gaming night out blah blah, I'm surely the one with most trouble. Because I am staying with my mom and she is strict and she doesn't like me staying out late and all that. So for the sake of having fun with friends, I would tell her other things to cover my ass or just ignore her endless phone calls. But tonight, after the party, when others still have plans, I choose to go home.

Go back home to the only mommy I have who's sitting at home thinkin about how's her children doing outside.

First step towards my new year resolution to be a guai guai lui to my mother.

I'm glad I've done it. whew~ It was a dilemma. But not very hard to do lah actually. It's me who's being very playful all the while.

Well in this whole shinny new year, I WILL work hard academically for study is the number 1 important thing in this stage of my life now.

Secondly, I WILL control my temper, as to be more patient towards those I love and those who loves me(i'm super short tempered mind you). Gotta train myself to have higher EQ towards beebee, mommy and brother. Treasure and be grateful to everything that's happening to me and never take things for granted.

Thirdly, is to save money. Money cannot do everything, but without money we can't really do much. haha.. So yeah must be realistic.

Okay, that's all for now.

I won't wish for "everything you touch will turn into gold" (Rich Low, 2008), but I do wish that all of you have a very blessed new year, well not only this year, but in many many many years to come, and best of health, wealth and happiness.

=) I love you all! muaks!!